Korean Zombies

Now, as you know if you're one of my 11 readers, I live in South Korea. What you have probably figured out is that I also have a very minor fascination with zombies. Not the drinks, or the dudes in Haiti that get drugged into a stupor, but rather, the undead. The kind that that groan and slowly slink down the street trying to catch whatever hapless moron is slow enough to be caught by the undead, and eat his brains.

One thing I've noticed while living here is that Korea is the perfect place for a zombie outbreak. Scenes from a zombie movie might not look so out of place here in real life (except for the blood and I imagine the stench). I know that the Japanese seem to like their zombie flicks, westerners sure seem to love them, but when I did a conversation lesson about zombies my students didn't seem to like the idea. Either they're weird, or Koreans don't love the zombies as much as we do (and there's nothing wrong with that, what's there to love about zombies anyway?)

Anyway here is my list of reasons that Korea is the perfect place for a zombie outbreak.

1. Lots of people = lots of BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIINS. That was kinda a no-brainer (hee. pun intended.)
2. Hospitals. Hospitals here are smaller and all over the place. Zombie outbreaks are often caused by viruses. Hospitals are a great place to get viruses.
3. People wearing sanitary facemasks everywhere. I dunno, it just seems to go with number 2 (not poop, reason number 2 in this list.)
4. Koreans love fresh air. So much so that if you walk by a hospital...and you will walk by a hospital...you will see what I call "escapees." I think the nurses/doctors/caretakers/etc encourage the patients that are healthy enough to go outside and get fresh air. It's not uncommon to see a sickly looking person in a hospital gown 2 blocks from the hospital smoking a cigarette and buying fresh vegetables while pushing their IV rack. Seriously. The escapees could easily spread the virus.
5. Koreans dress nice. Seriously. It's pretty strange to see people not dressed up nicer than they need to be. People won't wear sweatpants to the grocery store here. Now, what looks better, zombies munching on dudes dressed in sweatpants at the grocery store, or zombies throwin' a munch on a dude wearing 3 different colored polo t-shirts he paid 96,000 wons for with all 3 collars popped? One works better than the other, and it ain't the sweatpants.
6. Korean couples are so damn cute. Seriously. They wear matching outfits. On a side-note, Babehoney and I inadvertently wore a couple's out on the town last week. We weren't careful and wore plain grey v-neck t-shirts on the same day. Good thing that's acceptable here. Now, what's cuter than cute couples wearing cute matching outfits? Cute ZOMBIE couples wearing cute matching outfits. Dare I say that would be cinematic/comic book genius? I do.
7. Outdoor markets. There's certain places that are just good for zombies. These include hospitals, prisons, streets, wooded highways, swamps, carnivals (of course, carnivals!) and I would say outdoor markets. They're incredibly crowded and have complex systems of secret passageways (so it would seem). Perfect for a cunning zombie to jump out and eat your brains...absolutely perfect.
8. Subways: Same reasoning as the previous.
9. Amusement parks. Mainly because of their resemblance to carnivals.
10. Plenty of places to make an escape. Ever heard of a zombie climbing a mountain? I haven't.

This list isn't exhaustive, but it's something I think about more than I should. I'm ready for the zombie apocalypse, are you?