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Mass Effect 3 Not-So-Real-Time-Blog Update: Oh shit, the Quarians!

Ever Evolving Primate: Travel, photography, food, cooking, and just about anything else.: Mass Effect 3 Not-So-Real-Time-Blog Update: Oh shit, the Quarians!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Mass Effect 3 Not-So-Real-Time-Blog Update: Oh shit, the Quarians!

This blog post will contain copious spoilers that will ruin your enjoyment of the game. 

My struggle to save the galaxy continues. During Mass Effect 2 I developed a romance with a Quarian named Tali. I really liked the girl, she was super smart, slightly oppressed, and had a really sexy accent. If you're not familiar with the Mass Effect series, Quarians are an alien race who seem to have nice bodies, but only 3 fingers, and must remain inside of their enviro-suits because they have no immune system. They're generally regarded much the same as Gypsies, and live in a fleet of migrant ships. They also sound a bit like Gypsies speaking English with an Eastern European accent.

In Mass Effect 2 I decided to rewrite the Geth (a robot species) to be on my side, and Mass Effect 3 posed a choice to me, save the Geth or the Quarians. I thought I could save both. Bad move. I saved the Geth, at which point my little Geth friend Legion melted into a puddle of lifeless parts, and my girlfriend Tali tried to call off her fleet from attacking the newly evolved and improved Geth fleet. They didn't listen to her and all of the Quarians were destroyed. Not to be outdone by the rest of her species, Tali slowly (and dramatically) removed her mask and jumped off of a cliff.

To all of the Quarians out there reading my blog, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to go and become extinct. I just wanted us to all work together. Because of your stubbornness my video-game girlfriend has jumped off of a cliff. Thanks a lot for being selfish!

I guess I didn't pass the reputation check. Crap. Well, at least the upgraded Geth are on my side (I think it might be a good thing...but I don't really know.) More on this as I get some more play time in.

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